A classy institution that produces classy people

So, in an attempt to stay in tune with my home state, I usually read the Oregonian's Web site several times a week. On Saturday, the top two stories were both about the epicenter of dignity and sophistication, Oregon State University. The stories highlighted two distinguished alumni: 1) Sara Underwood, a former business student, naked-posed her way to the top, and was handsomely rewarded by being named Playmate of the Year. Our hearts are all swelling with pride.
2) A former OSU linebacker was arrested on suspicion of being a Las Vegas pimp.

I don't know why anyone would choose to go to any other school, when OSU ensures such bright futures.

Always Cocaine

Apparently the new "Cocaine" energy drink is being
pulled from the shelves because, it will, of course, encourage poor unsuspecting kids to run out and do the real thing. Hmmm ... a drink that gets its name from cocaine ... let's see ... nope, I can't think of any other beverages out there named after cocaine, or coke, as they call it. Oh, wait.