A classy institution that produces classy people

So, in an attempt to stay in tune with my home state, I usually read the Oregonian's Web site several times a week. On Saturday, the top two stories were both about the epicenter of dignity and sophistication, Oregon State University. The stories highlighted two distinguished alumni: 1) Sara Underwood, a former business student, naked-posed her way to the top, and was handsomely rewarded by being named Playmate of the Year. Our hearts are all swelling with pride.
2) A former OSU linebacker was arrested on suspicion of being a Las Vegas pimp.

I don't know why anyone would choose to go to any other school, when OSU ensures such bright futures.